August 2010
1 post
ok
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July 2009
2 posts
A day at Disney World with a potentially violent...
Date: July 10th
Sector DW, Orlando, Florida
Today, our little Sandy is celebrating her fifth birthday. She’s now 5 and I realise that’s how long I’ve been depressed. She wants to go to Disney World. This is our story.
9:30 am: Here we are: Magic Kingdom, the happiest place on earth. I have a bad feeling about this. Sandy wanted to go to the Animal Kingdom, but since this terrible hunting...
June 2009
8 posts
Big Deal... Mr. Myagi did it with chop sticks...
Seriously, THAT WAS EPIC! Barack Obama is such a badass he’d kill 4 alligators, 12 white sharks and tie them all together with an anaconda in a phone booth.
It wasn’t some weak and slow mosquito, it was a big real f’ing fly! BANG!
At least it wasn't lightning.
Some very lucky (or unlucky depending on how you see it) kid was struck by a meteorite in Germany a couple of days ago. Yes, a f’ing meteorite.
If I ever go to Wisconsin, you'll know where to...
I found this on collegehumor.com and let me tell you, it is priceless!
I haven’t written a post for a while simply because I didn’t have anything to say- I finally got a job, the Lakers lead the series 3-1 against Orlando,158M Euros later Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka are now Madrileños (f*ck you recession!), the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley cup and I failed my driving exam. I...
“Don’t knock masturbation — it’s sex with someone I love.”
– Woody Allen
May 2009
12 posts
WatchHey guys! This is the official intro of Toilet Paper Shorts! I just finished it.
We’ll be shooting tomorrow, so stay tuned for some awesome videos!
Good News!
Common sense has done it again!
What is a sport?
First of all, my friend wanted me to mention her so… There you go I mentioned you.
This morning, I woke up with an intriguing and vile headache. I turned on the TV right next to my bed and it was Poker on ESPN.
Poker on a Sports Channel… Poker is a card game. You don’t run when you play poker, you don’t kick a ball, you don’t run with a goddam football. When you...
Vidy's! Shwooshh...
For the past few days I’ve used the incredibly large (and pathetic) amount of time I have to write down some scripts and ideas for some videos I want to post on this and ,yeah, probably Youtube. It’s like if I’ve been harvesting all these ideas for the past 5 years and I finally have the opportunity to make them come to life. I’m having a blast.
Anyways, HOPEFULLY if I...
The Dentist
Yesterday, I had an appointment with the dentist for some kind of Laser (pew pew) treatment on my gums, because ,apparently, bleeding to death each time you brush your teeth is not so good. I like going to the dentist, I’m not going to lie, I always get the hot young dentist with the big breast and last night was no exception.
So I get there, punctual as always, awesomeness literally...
Teaching obedience to your kid
Here are a few tips on how to properly raise your child.
- When you walk down the street with your kid, grab his hand, stop and look around. Then, say something like ”Oh No! They’re here! Run!
- At diner time, watch carefully your kid as he’s about to take his first bite and say ”Are you really going to eat this?”
- End every single sentences with the word...
Website Propaganda
Me: Hey J-Nag go on my website www.iusetouseusedtoiletpaper.com
I could see you do something like that.
With a different theme.
J.: This is one of those scams
Where I'm going to get a virus
AND I'm not going.
Me: If this was a scam, then it'd be something like ''Hey look this is you :P''
And it's not.
J.: O.k.
Me: and I wouldn't have called you J-Nag 'cos I'd be a robot.
Shame.
...
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...
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Did you go?
Taking the bus won't get you laid
Today was a very special day, afraid of dying in my own boredom, I decided to hit the bus (not literally) and head downtown (DT YALL!) to some weird Leonardo Da Vinci expo at some mall and maybe hand-in a couple of resumés along the way because I am still jobless.
To be honest, I like museums ,but this Da Vinci expo lacked in actual Da Vinci stuff. I mean, I didn’t expect to see the Mona...
Philosophy can be so intriguing.
Friend: Did you do my philosophy essay like I asked you to?
Me: Nope
Friend: You said you would.
Me: No, I didn't
Friend: On Friday...
Me: I was drunk on Friday.
Friend: You're always drunk.
Me: I don't see how that's my problem.
Friend: ...
Me: ...
Friend: Your Lips... They were so sweet.
Me: What?
“Cats are as useful as losing your keys in the snow”
– Liam Neeson
First post...SEX.
This isn’t about sex.
So I’ve finally decided to tumbl(?),tumblrer or whatever e-expression fits you most…
Speaking of most, most people don’t know this, but I am adorably funny so you should enjoy…things-some things that happen to… happen in my life that’ll be written down here. If that doesn’t work out, then I can use some of the introspective...